If you are here, it is likely because you or a friend or family member is traversing the challenging season of waiting for children. I am so very sorry for your pain and welcome you share in your sufferings here.
Please know that the words that follow are free from judgment. I have felt emotions and hastily sought to control my own season waiting for children. My hope is to lead you to a place of peace and contentment as we navigate this waiting together.
Have you ever found yourself spiraling in fear and anxiety as you worry about if you’re taking the right steps or doing the right things to get pregnant? Do you feel overwhelmed by the possibility of trying all the options or finding the “right” one that will give you the result you want? I have been and admittedly still occasionally find myself right there with you. Waiting for children is a long, weary, and lonely road that leaves you unsure of the next steps to take.
The World Tells Us To Strive For Fertility
It is so easy to overwhelm yourself with things to do to try to get pregnant when there is so much information right at your fingertips. You can ask Google or AI anything and have a variety of answers in a matter of seconds. Yet, it’s likely that not every option is worth pursuing and certainly not all at once. Fortunately, there is a better way and you don’t have to walk through this heart-breaking season alone.
I have never much cared for the term “infertility”. Sure, it is a practical term for describing childlessness, but it has become a phrase that suggests that there is a problem to be solved. All too quickly, we become tempted to place this problem-solving responsibility into the hands of doctors, supplements, cycle charting, or even our own mind (if you just relax and stay positive, it will happen).
The Source of Fertility Is God Alone
The truth is not one human or thing is capable of creating life here on earth. Not even the woman who “did all the right things” and got pregnant on the first try. It is a wonder that the Creator alone is responsible for. I have started to find that posts with titles like “10 Things To Do To Get Pregnant Quick” or even “This is How I Got Pregnant After (X number) of Years of Infertility” comical and sometimes just down right infuriating.
Story lines like these even permeate doctor’s offices and the marketing of dieticians and naturalistic doctor’s alike. Claims such as these indicate that there is something you should be doing or someone else will do for you in order to help you conceive. As if there is something we do as humans to create life rather that the gift from God that children are. Colossians 1:16-17 tells us a different story.
“For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers, or authorities: all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”
There Is Freedom In Releasing Your Fertility To God
God is the sole creator and sustainer of life. This is good news because it allows freedom from having to make the “right” decision about how to move forward in this season. You don’t have to strive to create life within you. God will do according to His will and plan which we can trust are good.
I want to be clear that I am in no way saying that God fails to work through doctors, medicine, supplements, nourishment, and any other way the world tells you this is what you need to do in order to get pregnant. I’m certainly not saying that you shouldn’t seek any these options. Life has been and will continue to be created through these methods.
What I would also suggest that any type of fertility care should be approached carefully and prayerfully. The devil loves to use the deepest ache of your soul to cause you to put your trust in things like cycle charting, following the right supplements or hormonal regimens, and doctors who will quickly direct you to the next step in their protocol. In a situation that feels chaotic and overwhelming, we are tempted to hold on to these things to gain some control of the situation. But isn’t the beauty of the creation of life more than a series of protocols or regimens to follow?
God doesn’t wish for you to strive after a child. He wishes to bless you with one. Really, there is nothing you NEED to be doing other than seeking after Him. El Elyon is one of the many names for God in the Bible. It means God Most High meaning that He is God over all things. Nothing is impossible for him. No diagnosis or tough situation is insurmountable for Him. He will give us exactly what we need at exactly the right time.
This can be a tough pill to swallow. I know it has been for me. I have more often than once believed that my plan was better or that I just needed to address this one thing in order to get pregnant. These are lies that I have constantly had to bring back to God for Him to show me His truth instead.
How To Approach Fertility Care In Faith
As I stated earlier, I am not here to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do when it comes to fertility care. Each situation is so different. I have both heard of women going through IVF and refusing medical intervention all together while walking faithfully with God.
I will say that I am all for supporting your body through the gifts of the earth like sunshine and nourishing food. No matter what you do in life. Whether in pregnancy, motherhood, professional endeavors, or taking care of your home; you will feel so much better and be better prepared to serve God’s kingdom if your body is well nourished. In fact, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 states,
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.”
To paraphrase, the Holy Spirit actually lives within us, so God instructs us to take care of our bodies. They are not just ours, but a place where the Holy Spirit himself dwells.
What I do recommend is taking each step and decision to God in prayer. Ask him for his direction and peace about each decision rather than letting our fears fuel the decision-making process.
How To Discern God’s Will
God doesn’t call you to act out of anxiety or fear. Instead he works through peace. This is exemplified in 1 Corinthians 14:33 which says, “God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” When we bring our fears, worries, and decisions to God, He will show us a way through peace rather than the chaotic noise of making a decision out of fear.
The God Most High is in control of your life and your family. He desires the very best for you. Keep walking forward in faith. Take your questions, doubts, and decisions to Him. He loves to hear from His children. There is no one else who more deeply understands your pain and suffering.
“In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:6
Leave a Reply